Midsummer Night Dreams

2016: the year dreams and passion projects come to fruition!

I’ve been a busy bee–which is why for August, I am taking a focused break–but check out what I have been up to this summer.

Essentially, I’m working to champion this statement:

“Creatives, caretakers and entrepreneurs of color, in particular, do not take the time and space to care for themselves. Focused breaks actually make you more productive, less anxious, more liberated over time.”

• Be the Change–using arts for social change 
• Huffington Post–WOC mental health advocates transforming their communities
• Jamii–which I present today–a mental health services tool for Black Millennials:
  Jamii is designed to make mental health care more accessible and appealing, by bridging the gap between culturally competent therapists & counselors, and the communities they serve.

  

[You can explore the Jamii prototype here.]

I’m grateful for the opportunities floating my way. Go TEAM! I couldn’t do it without God, my support system, or you, who read this lil blog. Thank you!

Many more to come!

#MHAW| You and Me and Everyone We Know

It’s #mentalhealthawareness Week! 2016’s focus: Relationships

We are all interconnected and interdependent–we were created to be in families and communities, fulfilling our purpose in relation to others. We realize who we are (and who we are not) through our interactions with the folks around us–they help mold us while we are in the process of becoming. They mirror our strengths and weaknesses, loves and dislikes, insecurities and confidences. We tend to run away from those who resemble us the most–our ugliest sides, our secret sins, our fiercest fears, our strongest passions.

The ones closest to us have the deepest impact on our mental health–just ask anyone going through a break up or grief and you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Family members demonstrate for us how we are to behave with people in the outside world–whether that’s leading with joy and peace (righteousness), fear and anger (control/abuse), timidity or boldness.

They show us how to cope with our issues–or to suppress symptoms, repress urges, escape reality when it isn’t pretty, or keep shameful secrets buried instead of allowing the truth to transform our lives.

At their best:
Our parents can give us confidence in ourselves, and affirmation of our identity. Siblings (and cousins) teach us teamwork, friendship, making others needs and wants a priority over our own (consideration and empathy). Intimate friends, coworkers, masterminds and mentors enrich us, stabilize and push us forward.

Even our enemies, naysayers and saboteurs play a role: Opposition and competition test our strength and can motivate us to go even harder.

At their worst:
Broken, hurting, fearful, insecure, envious, prideful people injure others with their brokenness.

We may draw negative influences and toxic people to us when we rehearse negativity and internalized oppression, doubt our worth, or feel confused and vulnerable.
Where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable.

Check-in with yourself and those who surround you: home, work, school, community organization, church, online.

Who are you joined to?
What do your current connections and commitments look like?

Do the people in your life help you stay on track?

Are they supportive of your growth, calling you out of your comfort zone in order to be fruitful, or toxic to your potential and your mental health?

Don’t discount the importance of great #relationships–they shape your character and trajectory in profound ways!

TherapyThursday| MHChat Recap

Join Mental Health Chat on Twitter, Wednesdays 8 pm UTC/3 pm EST! Here’s a brief recap of this week’s discussion. Note: I have edited names to protect participants.
Trigger Warning: This post is centered on experiences of and advocacy toward self-harm. Please proceed with caution, and empathy. 

Welcome to Therapy Thursday!  In collaboration with Mental Health Chat, an open access mental health community online, each week I shall participate in a mental health conversation with psychiatrists, psychologists, patients, and mental health advocates, and give you all a summary. I hope you will also tune in!

Self-harm is such a sensitive subject. What a mind-blowing discussion.

We talked about possible causes for people to resort to self-harm, its impact on relationships,  alternate coping mechanisms, support, surrounding stigmas and how to eliminate them to allow more healthy dialogue.

People were so forthcoming with their views and experiences, giving reassurance and showing compassion on such a misrepresented mental illness.

Points to consider:

• SH is employed as a coping mechanism to manage emotional pain in a number of different ways, including condemning outbursts (verbally beating self up), marking oneself, cutting, biting, ripping out hair, eating disorders, overexercising–but also smoking.
  S: Self-harm is a complex area which begs for complex considerations in terms of understanding, research, treatment and support.
  M: A person uses self-harm when under duress and in need to feel tangible control, and release.
  Q: Adrenaline can ease pain or anxiety for a moment. Busy busy busy can be self-harming also.
  T: Self-harm can be physical as in cutting or emotional as in withdrawing/becoming angry in response to suppressed feelings.
• It’s often physical, because some find that focusing on physical pain is easier to handle, and the results are tangible. SH provides a release. Other forms are more mental strains:
  P: Harsh self-criticism is also self-harming, though not always recognized as such.
  MHChat Moderator: There are many reasons for and many forms of self-harm, and self harm can significantly increase likelihood of death by suicide.
• Someone practicing self-harm needs to be listened to, because they are indeed communicating. That message could be the SOS friends and family are looking for:
  M: I want out, I’m in pain deeper than you see me inflict on myself.
  D: YES! It says, I’m experiencing so much & I need to control something, I NEED to feel something!
  M: Is it fair to say, instead of stoicism or acute numbness, “I feel everything and it’s overwhelming”?
  S: SH is a spectrum, a means of reflecting an aspect of your self, of saying something to those who observe [you behavior].MHCMod: SelfHarm makes the invisible visible and it is a way of telling the untellable and an effort to cope and go on with living.
• Anyone can be in a state of high emotional stress or traumatized; anyone can find themselves engaging in self-harm to deal with that stress.
  

  HS: Anyone who is marginalized and feels hopeless about the possibility of connecting in a meaningful way with others [is more at risk].

• The most vulnerable groups in society are more prone to self-harm: This may include children from broken homes or abusive/negligent, adverse backgrounds,  unemployed young adults, adults with learning disabilities, low-income, isolated groups, veterans, people with PTSD…
  JH: Quite often it is family and community who cause the problem. E.g: Child abuse is massively underreported and traumatic.
  J: Mass self-harm in religious festivals is certainly encouraged…Ideology, theology or culture has played and does play a role in human beings harming themselves.
• Self-harm, as with other mental illnesses, is often not approached with empathy or respect. Instead, people may label the person as extreme, histrionic, crazy, or melodramatic.  Mental health professionals as well as family and friends must take care not to shame the individual practicing self-harm, or be dismissive, treating the situation as simply attention seeking–or as rehearsal for suicide.
• Self-harm relates to a person’s self-narrative and sense of identity:
  D: When you self-harm, yo get to control what you feel, how much you feel, and when you feel it.
  J: I’m taking charge of my story; [while] in darkness, wanting to seem less   helpless? Also, I’m angry at being made to feel helpless!
  P: I understand from personal experience of years of self-harm in the past.
  T: No, you have the right to be angry, sad, and say your opinions.
• The experience of self-harm impacts not only the individual experiencing it, but also their families, loved ones, and significant others: They may recoil in shock, feel helpless and fearful for that person’s welfare, or express frustration with the individual for not directly expressing their emotions. Unfortunately, receiving negative responses may reinforce using self-harm as a coping mechanism.
  E: Being an SH-er can feel incredibly isolating, because so may people don’t understand it and don’t want to see it.
  V: Why is it that self-injury is swept under the rug when topics like suicide and addiction are now talked about?
  P: Perhaps because others don’t know how to react and deal with it– too terrible to talk about it or contemplate.
  S: [Within the family or group there’s] constant tension between coping for the person and potential worry about what it means for others
• Self-harm behaviors are addicting processes. Even when the person desires to stop it can be difficult. As with other addictions, the behavior itself is a symptom pointing to underlying, deep rooted issues. Also, self-harming persons can go through withdrawal, or relapse after stressful periods. They may need to gradually stop self-harm through safer alternatives, like popping bands, taking a cold shower, or redirect themselves to self-nurture. (EP)
• There’s definitely social stigmas attached to self-harm, within the mental health field, in education, and in our communities at large.
  CM: Many in the profession still see these behaviors very lightly, due to stigma and a real lack of understanding of how to treat…so the area becomes frustrating and professionals “give up.”
  H: Austerity has caused huge increase in suicide and self-harm. It targets the most vulnerable groups and needs to be stopped.
  A: While services may say they are aware that self-harm is an important issue, individuals still struggle to access the right support.
  G: Teacher training on mental health is very poor: it focuses solely on what the conditions are but not first aid.
  S: Medication and CBT on “the quiet” is not a solution. we need to focus on well-being EVERYWHERE!
  P: Media needs to begin accurate and informative reporting, not sensationalizing and making out self-harmers to be a danger to others.

How do we raise greater awareness of self-harm and its meaning and its significance? How do we garner support for individuals who self-harm and their community?
1. Empathize: More than anything, self-harmers need to be treated with dignity and kindness instead of being discounted. Listen receptively to people who have lived the experience. Don’t fail to see the person and pain behind that injury!

2. Support: Remember that it really does take a village:  For a parent or caretaker of a young self-harmer, it can be difficult to be objective. Families and loved ones really need their own support systems and resources, such as rehabilitation efforts and group therapy approaches (think Al-Anon). Tangible support is VITAL.
G: If it is the parent that is self harming, parents need to know how to explain to their kids that it is not their fault.
The entire family needs to get wholeness. Group dynamics play a HUGE part in recovery, or regression.

3. Educate: Debunk the myths, mysteries and stigmas through open dialogues. Reducing the fear reduces the stigma.
Watch and share films like “Ida’s Diary” or “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”.

4. Provide alternatives: Help self-harmers learn healthy ways to express and deal with painful emotions. Teach them self-compassion.

Be the safety net you wish for others to land in.
Resource: Children: childline.org.uk/Explore/SelfHarm

If you are in the U.S. and are feeling low and need to talk to someone, please contact the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. If you are in the U.K. and feeling low and need to talk to someone, please contact Samaritans at 0116123.

What coping methods do you use to deal with emotional distress? Want to celebrate your recovery ? Share your strategies with me!
You, too, can be an advocate for mental health! Join Mental Health Chat on Twitter, Wednesdays 3 pm EST!

TherapyThursday | #MHChat: Anxiety

Join Mental Health Chat on Twitter, Wednesdays 3 pm EST! Here’s a brief recap of yesterday’s discussion on anxiety. Note: I have edited names to protect participants.

This past Wednesday marks my first time participating in a mental health conversation with psychiatrists, psychologists, patients, and mental health advocates.

We talked about anxiety vs. fear, what factors play into it, ways of diffusing, coping mechanisms, stigmas and how to eliminate them to allow more healthy dialogue.

I really enjoyed the welcoming round table approach. I made some connections and took away some great information.
Points to consider:

• Anxiety is unease you experience when expecting a potential future threat, so it’s shaped by our perceptions. It differs from fear, which deals with present and impending threats.
• Anxiety can build up and paralyze one from taking action: The disruptive unease from anticipating negative results creates tension, stressing out your body and mind.
• Some factors that can influence our experience and levels of anxiety include fear of the unknown, generational successes and failures, and how our family members coped with anxiety: What did we see our parents do under pressure? How did our siblings and cousins respond to stressful situations?
  In the areas that we saw relatives fail, or succeed, we likely picked up those habits, learning from their examples.
• Anxiety can become a motivator for moving beyond your circumstances. On the other hand, it negatively impacts our health, sense of self and well being: Anxiety keeps us suspended in a state of fight-or-flight mode, leading to heightened metabolism, weight loss, sleep apnea, and an overall worn down immune system.
• Triggers can both communal (things that commonly affect a group, such as math anxiety) and individual: They can include major life events and decisions (marriage, having children, college, big move, job transfer and other career decision, death), as well as everyday life occurrences: traffic, academic exams, or social (parties, being in large crowds…etc)
• Some forms or degrees of anxiety are learned behaviors. A parent’s anxieties influence the emotional responses of their children, because children are prone to blame themselves for problems at home and to absorb and internalize their parents’ stress.

Someone dealing with anxiety may not open up about their mental state, because of the stigmas surrounding mental ill health and seeking help.
PF: Others’ mocking or dismissing our fears increases our anxieties and adds to shameful, guilty feelings.
SC: [They] may isolate themselves from other people and situations or shut down in discussion. That can set off a chain reaction that continues to worsen if not dealt with.
Me: The vicious downward spiral! Sadly some can resort to drastic coping methods like drug misuse.
L: Some avoid triggers (staying home v. social event) or avoid internal conversation (drinking).

I noted how in Black communities, you carry burdens. We discuss mental health issues in house (immediate family primarily) behind closed doors.
LD: I also notice this in some Latino, and some Asian communities, as well.
BY: So true! You’re supposed to be silent about it, too– no complaints, no actions to defend your rights! Hate that!
Me: Our traumas and intersectional oppressions overlap. Each piece MUST be dealt with! Root of anxiety for me.

How do we deal with anxiety as individuals and as a society?
1. Release: Acknowledge your thoughts and emotions, examine your reality for what it is, adjust your perspective. Don’t stay stuck in processing or latch onto the anxious thoughts.
PF: Recognize when in panic; remind yourself that things are not always as we perceive; seek help at times to check out.

2. Redirect: When I’m faced with a situation that makes me nervous, I relax, drink tea, pause, meditate, draw or tweet, and reach out for encouragement from people who support me.

3. Be self-aware: We all have our own triggers. Don’t insulate by isolating!
Practice mindfulness by appreciating the moment, and practicing self-compassion. (thanks @ReflectiveJoy!)

As every person is unique, with their own social, ethnic, historical, economic background, offering generalized solutions by demographic group (such as mindfulness for everybody) may not prove effective. Each person needs their own unique approach:
T: Mindfulness is a very large area. There’s different types, so how does it become mainstream without “one size fits all”?
M: Good question. Maybe endorse different solutions by community?
T: I mean tailored to each individual rather than communities and recognize it doesn’t help anyone.

4. Respond, not react:
MHChat Moderator: To enhance our capacity for anxiety, we need to increase our windows of tolerance and create more adaptive responses.
AK: Almost train your mind to go with the flow. Accept how things are done [instead of] challenging every little thing.
P: Overanalysis can be destructive.

5. Educate: Keep the open dialogues going! Get mental health resources to underserved communities, such as homeless teens in missions, or in red-zoned or impoverished areas. Let’s overcome the stigma and speak on our struggles!
What coping methods do you use to deal with emotional distress? Want to raise awareness, promote good practice, share your views or experiences,  celebrate your recovery, or anything else about mental health? Join & Share your views, experiences, and strategies with @MHChat!
You, too, can be an advocate for mental health! Join Mental Health Chat on Twitter, Wednesdays 8 pm GMT / 3 pm EST / 12:00 noon PST!You, too, can be an advocate for mental health! Join Mental Health Chat on Twitter, Wednesdays 3 pm EST!

Chat summary by Mia A. Jones-Walker