Tonight, it goes down: winter solstice, the longest night of the year 2015, with rain accentuating the soft notes of this atmosphere. I am spending these next 10 days or so being acutely introspective, reorganizing for the coming months.
As I clean out my online closets and choose the useful things, (including whether or not to delete this blog and start anew), I feel a familiar wave of nostalgia and bittersweet release wash over me. Every year I know I have grown just a bit more, even with the missteps. Earlier this evening, I began a dedicated hour of content creation, that extended itself well over three hours once I found my About page. I really hadn’t paid it any mind in the past couple of years, so I proceeded to skim, and tears filled my weary eyes. It was as if my younger, more naive self had written a letter full of sunshine for me to read 4-5 years later.
Sometimes, the only one you need to encourage you, is yourself.
here is what MikaRedfoxx (cringe, cringe) had to say to me:
“Introducing Me. Me=Mix of Everything
steadily flowing streams of consciousness washing through my being and flushing out all the mixed up washed up thoughts tumbling about in a dryer without any fabric softener so they remain coarse and raw and
Matter-of-fact Expression, Modern and Eclectic taste, More Emotional than the average sensitive soul
Math Equations &chemistry sets and poetry&paintings
strength intelligence passion compassion sympathy empathy logic art talent writing randomness
Measure of Excellence. encompassing a creative force to be reckoned with.
I fall under so many labels: twin, bigsister, eldest daughter, niece, amiga, hermanita, peer, classmate, [contributor,] Africana neo-soul internationalist hipster stuck in the 90s, retro and forward-minded…
I create, it’s what I do: make up blues songs that I never seem to have the means to record, poetry &prose, random choreography to catchy tunes and handshakes with my best friends, deliciousness in the form of BROWNIEEES!! paintings, paper sculptures, drawings, mixed media collaborations between paper, fabric, paint, lacquer, ink, charcoal, oilpastels…
I am Cherokee, Blackfoot, Seminole, Mexican and African-American, and a woman shifting and moving underground..
I seek to discover myself, to be more aware of my limitations as an artist, as an intellectual.
O winds of cynicism don’t blow me away just yet…I want to color someone’s day…”
Not to mention that bit I had removed about being a Scottie (if you don’t know ask somebody about us) and some other rather ratchet phrases I deleted. How hilarious and yet how profound, that is how I estimated myself. I’m no longer seeking out limits in that sense of containment…
Here is my modified, “mature” statement, cut and pasted between this youth manifesto and my poetic artist statement in my website, http://www.miaanikaart.com:
“In the series, Microcosms: Depth and Darkness, I explore the energy and dimension of paint through abstraction. Using acrylic and ink, I create dynamic spaces on small squares through value, texture, various mark making, broad brushstrokes, and sweeps of color. I have expanded this project to large-scale works.
In the Tempest series, I record my transition into “the real world”, a journey full of sudden financial downturns, spiritual upswings, rapid mood and environment shifts, and loads of apparent missteps. But then, then there’s the light, and the breeze and the calm, and then plunge. I cover a full 2 seasons in A Wee Book of Storms, and medium paintings.
I am Mia Anika, a black Millennial creative exploring and expanding in Atlanta, Georgia. I actively work as a visual facilitator, painting instructor and freelance artist, and plan to become an art therapist in the next few years.
I relate to the world graphically: I process emotion and atmosphere and regurgitate in living color. I paint and craft, insert and remove myself as a therapy–it serves as my
psychoanalysis. I attempt to reclaim what’s perceived as loss. I facilitate others’ healing by inviting them to participate through the creative process.
In my work, I incorporate the power and intrigue of language; I restate pictorially and think in visuals, ascribe significance in lyrical description. I communicate with gestures and colors, generating spaces with my hands. I am motivated by identity and relationship, by mood and atmosphere, by serendipity. History and I have a casual dialogue which leads to breakthrough.
I am committed to building community among young creatives of color, restoring families and groups’ sense of serenity through creative expression.”
There is something to taking yourself seriously: You must pursue that to the end of communicating and demonstrating your value, because no one else can. I can articulate in prose now, haha. As a human and esp. a creative, you constantly self-edit.
Sometimes I cringe at old work…other times I can appreciate my rawness…
what a time to be alive.
Have you rehashed old content to make improvements? What’s been your creative evolution? Share in the comments below!